Once again, this isn't set in London, but it happened to someone who has lived in London so put yourself in their boots - you are visiting your family and you are surreptitiously checking Grindr...
Victim 3: So the first night staying at my Dad's new house in [northern
town], I decided best check out the Grindr scene. Boom, I get this
alright-looking 22 year old interested.
Rentist: Just out of interest, how many people are on the Grindr scene in [northern town]?
V3:
About 5 people at any one time. And one of them was alright. Dad goes
to bed and I nab his keys. The guy can't accom, so tells me to meet him
at this graveyard - which happens to be near where my dad lives.
R: What time is this?
V3: About 1am. I've got a bit pissed off the
beers in my dad's fridge and think 'fuckit, what have I got to lose!?',
obviously forgetting that I hadn't completely depleted my stock of
dignity. Yet. So I go down to the graveyeard - this weird car is
watching me, but that's another story - and this guy turns up.
R: Can we get a description?
V3: Better than he looks in his Grindr photo, bottom (as we'd already
established) and had a nice skinny figure with a good arse. So I'm
drunkenly pulling on the charm, and mistakenly make a quip about how
funny it would be for me to get a public indecency change on my first
night visiting my dad. He gets all flinchy. 'What's that!?'. I'm like,
ffs, who the fuck is this. I explain the ABC of UK law (ie shagging in
public is an offence)
R: What is he, French?
V3: Nah, just a naive little northern lad. He
then starts getting scared; glancing around, saying out loud 'I'm quite
scared'. So I'm trying to ease him - we get far enough into this
graveyard that I feel it's fine to start what we're there for. I start
kissing him,
and he says 'let's go somewhere darker! It's too light!'
R: It's a fucking graveyard!
V3:
Ooookkkkkaaaayyyyy... I take him further in. It gets darker. I start
telling him I'll protect him, don't worry, [other northern town] is much
more dangerous, etc etc. Bear in mind that I'm drunk and in quite high
spirits, whilst he's sober and looking increasingly terrified. Then he
tells me what he thinks is a horror story about someone once committing
suicide off this bridge-dark tunnel thing we're about to walk through.
I'm like, babes, if you're going to get scared, at least come up with a
violent offence
R: Suicide is quite violent, isn't it? Anyway
V3: He makes me get my
phone flashlight out to guide him through this short tunnel. We get to
the other side, and it's pretty dark. We're at least 10 mins walk into
this graveyard, so I decide it's worth stopping. We start kissing, but
he won't let me suck him off - he keeps saying he's scared. I fondle
his nice arse a bit, get a condom on, and he cums against the wall and
says 'nah, I've cum now, wanna meet tomorrow? Let's get out of here -
it's scary!'. You can imagine my reaction... standing there, now semi
flaccid with a condom hanging off, open mouthed in disbelief at this
fucking prick.
R: Did you snap?
V3: For the first time, I knew what gays online
refer to as 'time wasters'. He got scared of the graveyard to which he
had invited me (I hastened to remind him of this).
R: You gave him a bollocking?
V3: Oh yes. I also went out of my way to scare him several times by
running off, hiding, then jumping out on him in a particularly
aggressive manner. He was scared. I thought a graveyard experience would
be kinky and cool, and something I had never done before, especially
since he invited me. Instead I get this terrified wormy lad who cums
against the wall the moment my cock touches his bumcheek.
R: So did you meet up the next
day?
V3: If this was a stand-up act, I would end by saying 'so I think he's the one'. But it's not, and I have never seen him again.
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